Technology and sore toes

I'm having a very challenging week.

1) BT were supposed to come last week to sort out a new line for my office. Despite being brilliant up to the point at which they were supposed to switch on the new line, it failed in true old-style BT fashion. Resulting in many, many calls to India and god knows where else.

When I got a message saying they'd cancelled everything and I'd have to start again, I kicked a kitchen cabinet so hard I've now got sore toes. And they want us to return to BT? B*llocks to that.

2) I need to replace the other house line with a new b/band and phone contract. Once again, many calls to the Utility 'useless' Warehouse by both me and the bloke that owned the house before me. Can we get this sorted between us? Well it's 2 months and counting so far...

3) The new provider I want to use told me yes, they can switch on the line without the required information from Useless Warehouse but I won't have b/band access for 7 days. Which I can't have because I work from home.

Cue ranting. In fact at this point I broke down in tears and wept.

4) It gets worse. I went to measure the mattress as we need a new bed and the tape measure snapped back and took a chunk out of my wrist.

THEN I went to the loo and the toilet seat fell off in my hands.

I've always said that I need is a personal assistant who's job it is to do all this kind of thing for me. Including helping me to the toilet as I'm obviously utterly incapable of getting that right too.

Any applications gratefully received, but be aware that this job is hugely frustrating and (occ) smelly.

Your vastly fed up blogger
Lucy