Sadly back from Dundee

Back home from a few days in Scotland and we're both sighing mightily. Leaving the place that's home was particularly hard, but going back this soon is like picking at a scab. And I'm not five anymore, I'm past the picking at scabs phase.

As the train came over the Tay rail bridge (famous for falling over, but that's another story) tears welled up in my eyes. There's something magical about that view, and living near the sea was such a godsend. I also had a cry about the fact that the night sky over Birkhill was glorious on Sat night. Seems I'm getting sentimental in my old age.

The highspots were:

- Eating with EC in my fav Thai restaurant then going to the pictures like we used to.

- Missy being so happy to be with her old friends. Her birthday party was lovely.

- Finding a fab chipper in Arbroath that has an "all you can eat" buffet for £5.99! If we'd found that before we moved we'd really never have left.

- Seeing everyone again, and being reminded of how hard it is to leave them.

Gotta go find another tissue.

Lucy

A bit of reformation? Yes, please!

It sounds like the monarchy might finally be getting with the programme after all:

1) Catholics will now be monarchs, a law that's been in place 300 years and by now, who cares which brand of God they go for? Not me, baby.

2) MUCH MORE IMPORTANT: the first-born will inherit the crown, whatever their sex.

This is the one that made me go 'oh' out loud. Always a good thing to do in a quiet hotel breakfast room, everyone looks at you surreptitiously but will never ask why you just made an inappropriate noise. Which is good, I'm a grumpy cow in the mornings.

Digressions aside, it's about time. QE II only got the crown because there were no boy children. And she's been doing it for nearly 60 years so women can't be that bad at it. I don't plan to debate whether we need a monarchy at this point, I'd be here for too long and I have to work.

It is good to see is a lumbering, ancient institution finally starting to move with the post-millennial times.

BTW, the good Dr G suggested I rant about this article. Trouble is, if I start on this kinda road (and let's face it, it's an issue very close to my heart), I'll never stop, my head will spin round and round until it explodes in a shower of frustration-fuelled sparks. Don't really have the time to find my brain from under the printer and re-install it today.

Yours in reformation mode,
Lucy

Lidl article: she didn't like the place, the people, the food...

Lidl is by far my favourite supermarket. I like it because of the lack of choice, the fact they don't bother to unpack stuff out of boxes, the lack of stupid telly screens screaming at you, the cheap booze - I could go on and on but you'd nod off. Suffice to say, me and Lidl have had a 5 year love affair, to the point where we started calling 'Ly-Del, the german deli' in my house, such was my deep love for the place.

So then along comes this daft bitch, writing in yesterday's Observer, bleating on in a middle class way about how much she hates it. They don't have baskets! You can't take a shopping list! The shoppers are poor! The checkouts are awkward! Ohmygod, what HAS this world come to when the supermarket doesn't wipe your very ar*se for you. Stupid cow.

Now I appreciate that it's a discount supermarket, which means - shouting for the hard of thinking - NO FRILLS. Lots of cheap food but NO FRILLS.

No you can't choose from 15 brands of the same thing, you get what they've got, bloody cheap. No they don't unpack products from their huge boxes, you do that when you buy something and it saves you money. No they may not have what you want, but they are sure to have one of everything you might need. And some great 'middle aisle' stuff into the bargain (kids shoes, clothes, kitchen equipment, garden stuff, euro type things you can normally only get on holiday...). I won't bang on about the prosecco or the bordeaux rose because frankly I don't want anyone else knowing about them. But anywhere that sells prosecco in handy handbag sized cans gets my vote any day.

Eva Wiseman, I'm glad you don't like Lidl. If you don't like my supermarket, my food and my people, then get the hell out of it. Our lives will be so much richer for the fact that you won't ever be there when we go.

Yours off to worship at the alter,
Lucy

We woz hacked

Funny thing, the internet. When we started working on it all those years ago, it was meant to be a utopia of sorts, a benign meritocracy where everything was beautiful and nothing bad happened. Hah. Then humanity got hold of it...

A couple of saturday's ago, we had four 'blue screens of death' on this old laptop. Which either means your PC is on it's death bed OR some 15 year old little virginal scrote with nothing else to do and no friends is attempting to take something from you in the virtual world.

Turned out our problem was the latter. And in the course of it, I lost all my emails for the last four years, including everyone's email addresses from that time too (please email me if you're reading this, I need to put you back into my now empty address book).

And the tech wizard who installed our network sorted it: they'd only gone and HIJACKED the network, and gotten between the laptop and the net so whatever got sent, they got a copy too.

I gotta ask this question: how dull do you have to be to want to steal my email? I'm sure they'll have found out plenty of fascinating facts like it was my 41st birthday recently, when I planned to talk to my friend in Canada on the phone, what I bought from Tescos that week and so on. Nothing of any use to anyone else, in other words. I'm not stupid enough to keep passwords and anyway now I've changed pretty much all the ones I use regularly.

Whoever you are, can I suggest you get a life? Oh and go forth and multiply while you're at it.

Your still annoyed blogger

Lucy

Breakfast with Jack Sparrow

This week I've watched three excellent films that pretty much cover all bases. The first I just realised fits perfectly with this week's 'Talk like a pirate' day.

Last night and this morning I watched the third 'Pirates of the Caribbean' film, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Now granted I watched it in several parts: the middle bit last night and the start and end this morning. I thought I'd missed the first ten mins, turns out I'd missed the first hour. But that's the beauty of Sky Plus, if you want you can skip it, pause it and make a cup of tea, etc etc. You don't need me to advertise murdoch's baubles.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed watching it in several parts. If you like sea battles, pirates and sword fights (all pretty high up on my list of enjoyable things), and don't want to have to think (I don't this morning) then it's great fun. It helps that we have a telly the size of Cornwall to watch it on.

Second one deserving on a mention is a German film called 'Run Lola Run'. Very simple premise, good execution. A bit self concious at the start but get through the first 20 mins and it all starts to make sense. We've had an excellent run of great German films (ref. Downfall) and this fits well within them. I really do not know why people don't like subtitles. Can't you read and watch something at the same time for gawd's sake?

And thirdly I watched over several days 'Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil'. I've mustve seen this four or five times now. It's a lovely gripping story, set in a place I really want to visit sometime. I appreciate that the Deep South has had a troubled and conflicted history, but their attitude and way of life sings to my soul.

Also the film has Kevin Spacey, John Cusack and Jude Law in it, all acting their little socks off. And as John Cusack is (or used to be) the sign of a good film whatever it was, it's worth watching. It's like being bathed gently in Mint Julep. What's not to like?

Yours off to yoga again,

Lucy

What goes on tour, stays on tour

Sir has been bugging me to post an update to the hen weekend.

Well I *could* tell you about the persian guys who did magic tricks, or how I got given a nudey lighter, or why we were up till 3am on Friday night. I could also tell you Kath's story about being in Belgium and not realising. Or why Sa was glaring at me in the Salsa Club.

But what goes on tour, stays on tour.

Yours

Lucy 'the very soul of discretion' Lowe

PS: I WILL tell you that having kids is lots of fun as you get to mess with their heads. We told Madam that a 'hen weekend' is like the film 'Chicken Run' - lots of cartoon chickens, sitting on eggs, knitting and flirting with a cockerel who sounds uncannily like Mel Gibson. That's what really happened, honest.

Do you hen? We do...

This weekend is my dear friend Sa's hen do.

She's getting married in Vegas via webcam in October so we won't be there and this is our only opportunity to get together and give her the mother of all send offs.

We will be in Manchester, staying in a 2-storey pent house apartment. We have lots of lovely things planned: a night in catching up with beauty treatments, shopping in fancy shops with a local guide, a thai meal then a big glam night out.

This is a sophisticated event and the only way you'll know we're on a hen do is if you've been given one of our cards. In fact if you're reading this, and you've been given one of our fantastic business cards, feel free to make a (polite) comment below.

We'll be particularly pleased to hear about how good we looked, how funny we were, whether you could guess who was the 'hen', and how many (pink) drinks we bought.

Your over-excited hostess

Lucy

I'm back

Three things caught my eye on the feeds this morning:
1) To break through the glass ceiling we need a spiked helmet, apparently. Which gave me a laugh due to this quote:

"if a small boy were an employer he would be one that compelled you to start work at 6am, repeatedly forced you to chase him round the room in order to complete the most basic task, and threw an earth-shattering tantrum if you failed to fetch him the correct style of latte. He would, in fact, spend most of his time at industrial tribunals."

2) A woman of 59 has had triplets. The question really has to be why, why, why at that age (ref. the above quote!)?

3) And this one really is a doozey. There's finally a woman who *might* be PM material in Japan. Read this and see why it made me mad. Maybe something to do with the language they use to describe her?

I'm not going to bang on and on in a feminist stylee, but for gawds sake, no wonder women are confused. It's all one step forward, and several steps back again.

Reminds me of the vultures in the Jungle Book.
'What do you want to do?'
'I dunno, what do you want to do?'

I know, some equality would be a great start, if only we could get there without being dragged back by spiked helmets, misogynist language and IVF for the over 50s!

Yours with her reeling head in her hands,
Lucy